So where did Numtini go? What happened to this person who gamed constantly and had all these thoughts? There are a couple of answers to that.
The real big obvious reason is having a daughter. I just don’t have the time that I once had. The second is that the environment of online gaming really just plain got unpleasant. Not just the anti-female vileness, but the general speed run thing where even basic dungeons require raid level gear because people want to ignore the mechanics.
The final reason is in 2015 I wrote over a quarter of a million words and published a novella and novel, both hitting lesbian romance best seller lists. (Go me!) Being made unhappy by jerks in an MMO vs. making money and having fun writing wasn’t a hard decision.
But then something funny happened a few months ago. The 7th Edition of Call of Cthulhu kickstarter actually produced product. I grew up playing tabletop RPGs, but I’ve spent most of my adult life either too busy to get into a group (DC) or without anyone local who seemed interested (Cape Schrod). But I really wanted to play. I’d seen the kickstarter for this roll20 thing, where you played online, and decided to take another peek.
And I got into a game. And it was good. I’m sitting there with three other players and a Keeper and tromping through the Vermont woods in my totally inappropriate flapper dress and watching the sanity points drift away. Ok, actually I’m the cautious player in the group and after two full stages of our campaign, I have 6 more sanity than when I started.
It feels like a face to face game. I can see the other players and vice versa. The one thing I was worried about was rolling dice. I love dice. Love them. And I was afraid that I’d miss the actual experience of rolling the physical objects. But it’s turned out to be pretty much a non-issue.
It’s returned me to a pleasure that I really haven’t felt since before I was about to buy a legal drink. Though in perfect honesty, we always drank while gaming. Beer or the completely horrific memory of pitchers of White Russians.
This has also led to a rather frightening number of purchases of modern game systems. I’m particularly impressed with Pelgrane Press’ options. But that’s another post.